Mindy Hargesheimer (00:00:00):
Um, okay. Kasim Hardaway, welcome to the podcast.
Kasim Hardaway (00:00:03):
Thank you for having me, Mindy.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:00:04):
I am so excited to have you. This is actually gonna be probably the longest time that we will have to sit
down and -
.. Really get into each other's stories. So right before we pushed record, we were just talking
about how far do we go back knowing each other? Because we met in the Kansas City influencer world,
which I guess now we call it content creation. Yeah. Right? Um, it was definitely pre - COVID.
Kasim Hardaway (00:00:26):
Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:00:27):
For sure. Mm-hmm. But I started in 2017. You were before me. You were one of the first few people that
I found - uh-huh. Moving to Kansas City.
Kasim Hardaway (00:00:35):
And I feel like it had to have been some food focused events, some influencer event - Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:00:41):
Where
Kasim Hardaway (00:00:42):
There were like a few of us. Because I remember when I started, there were probably like five people who
were like,
"I am an influencer and I post these things in that very direct way,
" you know? Uh-huh. Um,
just -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:00:54):
And a lot of them are gone.
Kasim Hardaway (00:00:55):
I know.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:00:56):
We're like, well, you're not in this world anymore. We'll talk about that. Yeah. I still am. Mm-hmm. But
throwing out names like Kansas City Foodie Finds - uh-huh. KC Plates. KC Plates. Mm-hmm. KC Local
Eats. Yep. They don't do it anymore. Mm-hmm. Um, there was, uh, they changed names. It's Allie and
Mark. They had KC like local food snobs and then they moved to Colorado. Yeah. So that brings me back
to the good old
Kasim Hardaway (00:01:18):
Ocean day. Yeah. Locational, if that's how you pronounceMindy Hargesheimer (00:01:20):
It - Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:01:21):
Is still doing it. Yep. And
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:01:21):
She
Kasim Hardaway (00:01:22):
Was an early,
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:01:22):
Yeah adopter. She is still doing it. Mm-hmm. There's still a few and now it's changed so much. So, but
we'll, uh, we'll talk all about that. Okay. Okay. So for people who are listening, whether they know you or
they don't know you - Okay. .. Let's get into what they're gonna take away from what we're gonna talk
about today. And I have lots of questions. Okay. You have lots of things you're gonna talk about, but how
would you kind of sum up like what you think we're gonna go over today about you?
Kasim Hardaway (00:01:42):
Wow. Um, if I had to guess, I would say we talk about my transition from social media influencer in the
food space, you know, on Instagram, on Facebook, on TikTok, to multidisciplinary artist and filmmaker
who now talks about very vulnerable things and mental health. Yeah. Um, so like a whole 180 - Yeah. In
the last year and a half.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:02:06):
Okay. So let's be clear of all your titles, okay? Okay. You are a writer.
Kasim Hardaway (00:02:11):
Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:02:11):
Multidisciplinary artist.
Kasim Hardaway (00:02:13):
Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:02:14):
Um, experienced designer.
Kasim Hardaway (00:02:16):
Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:02:17):
AlchemistKasim Hardaway (00:02:18):
Yes. Favorite one.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:02:19):
And filmmaker with work rooted in mental health.
Kasim Hardaway (00:02:22):
Mm-hmm.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:02:22):
Creator of the unbecoming.m. And the ake what you need while.
Kasim Hardaway (00:02:26):
Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:02:26):
Did I miss anything?
Kasim Hardaway (00:02:28):
And professor as of -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:02:29):
And professor. Of this week. Yes. Right when you walked in, you told me about that. I mean, bravo.
Kasim Hardaway (00:02:34):
Thank
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:02:34):
You. Literally you're like making waves. Okay. So let's be clear. Kossum, like awesome, but with a K.
Mm-hmm. For people who don't know.
Kasim Hardaway (00:02:41):
Yes. I mean, in grade school it was possum, it was blossom. I don't know if I've told you about this
before. No. And I had a friend in eighth grade that was like,
"It sounds like awesome, but with a K to
me.
" And I was like,
"Oh my God, you are brilliant. That's why you're my best friend.
" And you've had it
for decades now. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And it just stuck after that. Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:02:57):
Yeah. Okay. Well, let's get into it. Let's talk about how you're not originally from Kansas City. What's
your backstory?
Kasim Hardaway (00:03:02):
I am not. I am originally from New Jersey, but I was born in Jacksonville, Florida. Okay. I was only therefor a couple of weeks until my mom could travel with me. Um, we moved here in 2007 - Okay. Maybe
2006. Um, my mom reconnected with her high school sweetheart. Magic happened. He was living here
for work and my mom visited a couple of times and she loved it. And to paint like a very short picture of
life in Jersey, it was just very fast paced. We lived very close to the inner city. Yeah. There was a lot of
violence as you can imagine. Mm-hmm. And so when she came here, it just felt like a reprieve. And she's
like,
"This is the perfect place to start a family.
" I have a younger brother that was born the following year
after we were here, so.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:03:46):
So he was born here?
Kasim Hardaway (00:03:48):
Yes, he was.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:03:48):
The two of you? Just the two of you? Siblings?
Kasim Hardaway (00:03:50):
Uh, yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:03:51):
Yes. And was she from here or what was the reconnection?
Kasim Hardaway (00:03:54):
No. So my mom and my stepdad went to high school together.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:03:58):
Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (00:03:58):
And I don't know if he reached out to her, she reached out to him, but it was just kind of like butterflies
and
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:04:02):
That whole
Kasim Hardaway (00:04:02):
Thing. Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:04:02):
Yeah. And I should just add, we were just talking about your mom. Yeah. Your mom makes her way into
everything that you do. She seems like an incredible cheerleader for you. She is working side by side with
you, right? Mm-hmm. I've met her at a couple different places, so - Yeah. Shout out to your mom. Yes,
Kasim Hardaway (00:04:16):And my stepdad. I will say they both - Okay. I haven't
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:04:18):
Met him,
Kasim Hardaway (00:04:18):
I don't think. Yeah, no, he's more in the background. Yeah. Um, but I will say he's also very supportive,
but he's someone who doesn't ask questions. I just ask him to do something. He doesn't even know what
it's involving or what it's about and he'll do it. He'll show up. My mom is a little bit more like, okay, so
what is this? Why are we doing this? Yeah. I don't think I get it, but okay, I'll do it because I love you.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:04:36):
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you went to school here?
Kasim Hardaway (00:04:39):
Yes. So I transferred sophomore year. I went to North Kansas City High School. Mm-hmm. Go Hornets.
Shout out. Loved it. Yeah. I mean, coming from a big city and not knowing anything about the Midwest
other than the Wizard of Oz - Of course. I though there would be no electricity, truly. Mm-hmm. Like
horses - Cows, horse. Many Amish people, you know. Yeah. And when I came here, I was like,
"Oh
wow, I love this and I love the school I was attending. I think North Kansas City is a great school.
" And
when I graduated, I always intended to go back to Jersey for college and I just fell in love with Kansas
City.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:05:15):
Did you go to college?
Kasim Hardaway (00:05:16):
I did. I went to Washburn University my first year. Okay. Loved Washburn, hated Topeka. Sure. So like I
gotta go back to Kansas City. Yeah. And then I finished, um, college at UMKC.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:05:26):
Okay. So what did you think you wanted to do? Let's really get into the origin. Did you wanna be like,
um, an astronomist? Did you wanna be, um, what'd you wanna do?
Kasim Hardaway (00:05:36):
So that's, it's an interesting question because I think I always knew that I had a little theatrical flare. Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:05:43):
I've
Kasim Hardaway (00:05:44):
Always been very emotional. Um, but I just come from a traditional household that's like, you will be a
doctor, a lawyer, scientist, you know, these are the career paths and that's it. Yeah. Um, so when I went to
Washburn, I though I would be a biochemist. Okay. I took general chemistry and I was like,
"I will not be
a biochemist.
"Mindy Hargesheimer (00:06:03):
This is not for me.
Kasim Hardaway (00:06:04):
Um, and so when I transferred to UMKC, um, I don't know how much we can say about this. I was
smoking a lot of weed.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:06:11):
Is that okay? You can talk about anything and everything under the sun, please, and thank you.
Kasim Hardaway (00:06:14):
I was smoking so much weed and I was watching Parks and Recreation. I don't know if you're familiar
with the show. You
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:06:19):
Know what I didn't watch it, but I'm obsessed
Kasim Hardaway (00:06:21):
With Amy Pollard. I listen to your podcast all the time. That you need to know about. I was obsessed with
Amy Poehler and I though I was obsessed with Leslie Nope. Yeah. The character. Mm-hmm. And so she
works in a park and recreation office. So when I went to UMKC and I did like the orientation, I stopped
by the environmental studies department. Uh-huh. And they had a little sheet that's like, these are the
different career fields. And one of them was like parks and rec. And I was like, I love watching parks and
rec, so I'll work in parks and recreation. Makes perfect sense. Truly, right? Just a pothead, not easy. I'm
sure you
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:06:49):
Were not the only one to do that either though.
Kasim Hardaway (00:06:51):
I know. I know. Yeah. So yeah, I studied environmental science and geography and because it's really
hard to find a career that makes money in those fields, I ended up, um, getting advanced certification in
GIS, geographic information
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:07:05):
Systems.
Kasim Hardaway (00:07:05):
Okay. So basically I made maps -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:07:07):
Interesting. After school.
Kasim Hardaway (00:07:09):
Yeah. Okay. I made maps for Google Fiber for two years.Mindy Hargesheimer (00:07:12):
Wow. Okay. Things I didn't know.
Kasim Hardaway (00:07:13):
Mm-hmm.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:07:13):
All right. So then when did you decide to get into the world of being an influencer? Let's just start there -
Okay. Because so much of what your story is clearly is that, getting all the different, you know, segues
Kasim Hardaway (00:07:25):
That you had. Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:07:26):
So
Kasim Hardaway (00:07:26):
I'll do a little bridge from the Google Fiber job to influencer marketing. Okay. I have always had that
entrepreneurial itch. I really like doing things for myself and being very self-motivated. It just feels more
natural to me. And so I quit my job -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:07:42):
Uh-huh.
Kasim Hardaway (00:07:43):
At the engineering company. And then I was traveling with a friend, one of my best friends who was a
marketing consultant. Mm-hmm. And she was like,
"I think you can do this. It's really not that hard. Get
on Craigslist.
" Which is very telling of the times,
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:07:56):
Right? Oh, yes.
Kasim Hardaway (00:07:56):
Okay. You could apply for jobs on Craigslist. I can't
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:07:58):
Even believe Craigslist is still around. Yeah. By the way, did you hear Myspace is gonna make a
comeback?
Kasim Hardaway (00:08:02):
No, I didn't. We'll have to get to that later. Which
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:08:04):
IsKasim Hardaway (00:08:05)
Also from our time. But yeah, I applied for a ton of jobs on Craigslist. I had this one job and this woman
wanted me to, um, vet an influencer. Obviously she's like in California. They're way ahead of us. What
year was this by the way to
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:08:19):
Put it in perspective?
Kasim Hardaway (00:08:20):
Ooh, I graduated from college in 2013. I worked for two years after that, 2015, maybe 2016. Okay.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:08:26):
Maybe
Kasim Hardaway (00:08:26):
2015. Okay. Um, and she just described what her job was and how much she wanted to do a post for the
client. And I was like,
"Can I do that?"
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:08:37):
That sounds intriguing.
Kasim Hardaway (00:08:38):
Yeah. And so I was like,
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:08:43):
First
Kasim Hardaway (00:08:44):
Recipe.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:08:45):
Oh. So it did start with,
Kasim Hardaway (00:08:47):
Yeah. That
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:08:47):
World. It's been
Kasim Hardaway (00:08:48):
Food. Mm-hmm.
"I want to do that.
" So that day I made a recipe blog and I posted my
"It's been food all along.
"Mindy Hargesheimer (00:08:48):
Yeah. Okay. So, and it was your name, right? Yep.
Kasim Hardaway (00:08:51)
Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:08:52):
Cossam
Kasim Hardaway (00:08:52):
J. Hardaway or Cossam Hardaway, something like that. I've stuck with that.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:08:56):
So 2016 you started it?
Kasim Hardaway (00:08:57):
Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:08:57):
Okay.
'Cause I started in October of 2017. Okay. So we ended up cross- crossing paths. But like, when
you look back now, what was that experience like being a Kansas City influencer? 'Cause this is before
you went beyond Kansas City. Uh-huh. So like, how would you describe that time that I was with you for
a while? Um, but like, what did you think of it? I just - How do you describe it to people who were like,
ugh, influencers, what it was like then?
Kasim Hardaway (00:09:20):
I get really nostalgic. Yeah. And I'm like, it's the good old days. I do too. Everything was very simple.
Yeah. It was very straightforward. You got invited to these restaurants, you got gift cards. Yep. It was
really fun and lighthearted. Yeah. There wasn't this kind of seriousness that's attached to it. I think about
the old days of social media where, you know, we had our filters, but like the aesthetics of it were just so
different. It was very just like, ah, it's how I feel about it. And
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:09:44):
You know what you could do? Post a photo.
Kasim Hardaway (00:09:45):
Yeah. Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:09:47):
You could just post a photo.
Kasim Hardaway (00:09:48):
Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:09:49):Maybe a couple. Uh-huh. I didn't know at the time how many you could do, because of course you can do
up to 20 now. But it was, it was like simpler times. Take it on
Kasim Hardaway (00:09:55)
Your phone. Take it on your phone. You
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:09:57):
Know, you don't have to
Kasim Hardaway (00:09:57):
Bring -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:09:58):
No ring light. The camera
Kasim Hardaway (00:09:59):
Guy.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:10:00):
No sticks everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I agree with the nostalgia. The good old days. And there
weren't too many. I always wondered what it was like in other cities coming from Chicago because I've
had the best time doing this here personally had, and I'm still doing it. But I was like, now you look and
there's so many people doing it. But that's the world. Yeah. Like everyone is getting in front of a camera
and, and, or a phone and creating content and becomes increasingly, I don't know, competitive.
Kasim Hardaway (00:10:28):
Mm-hmm.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:10:28):
Yeah. How to differentiate yourself.
Kasim Hardaway (00:10:30):
Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:10:30):
All the things. So yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:10:31):
Yeah. It's very, it's a very fascinating world to me as
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:10:35):
It is today. Higher expectations.
Kasim Hardaway (00:10:37):Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:10:38):
Yeah. Okay. So you did that. Then let's talk about how you get into this world of food blogging. Mm
hmm. Is that what you would call it?
Kasim Hardaway (00:10:46):
Yes. So that's, and that's where it started with the food blog.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:10:49):
Yeah. I
Kasim Hardaway (00:10:50):
Started there and then I transitioned to restaurants and I transitioned back to food blogging.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:10:54):
Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (00:10:55):
Um, so food blog was great. I think I was doing that for maybe a few months before local PR companies
and restaurants reached out to me and I was like,
"Oh, there's this whole world that I should be opening
up myself to.
" Yeah. And that's when I switched to more of the restaurant coverage. Then I reverted back
to the food blog and really got serious about it. And that was probably around COVID because all the
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:11:17):
Restaurants were closed. Is that why you decided to do it? Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (00:11:19):
Yeah. I was like,
where I started
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:11:26):
With it.
" Yeah. But you, so you kind of pivoted to that and then you like blew up - uh-huh. In terms of
followers. Mm-hmm. Like your growth became exponential, right? Yeah. And I remember seeing you
around and you're like, you know, you'll have to tell me the brands, but you had like what, Aldi or you
had some big, big national or international brands -
Kasim Hardaway (00:11:44):
Yeah, so...
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:11:44):
That you were
Kasim Hardaway (00:11:44):
Landing. I was working with Aldi for a couple of years just as an influencer before I became the
spokesperson for three years. Um, I was doing all, actually let me say most because I don't know if it was
"I have this very strong audience and this platform. Let me just go back to the roots ofall. Sure. Most of their, um, spots on local daytime TV and radio shows. Mm-hmm. Um, I was leading
video content at Impossible Foods on top of working with, you know, like Crockpot and this random
brand and this random brand and this random brand to the point where I had an agency that managed me -
Okay. And just took care of all the negotiations and everything behind that.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:12:21)
Yeah. How did you start landing those brands? Like for people who actually are interested in like how
you got that, which is even a few years ago, but like people who, who are doing it now, did they find you
because you were creating amazing content? Did you have those viral moments? Did you seek them out
at the time?
Kasim Hardaway (00:12:36):
Truly it was just virality. Yeah. And I feel like it was easier then.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:12:40):
Sure.
Kasim Hardaway (00:12:40):
But maybe that's not true,
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:12:42):
But - I bet it was. Not to disqualify you but just because of what we just talked about. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How many people are into it? Yes.
Kasim Hardaway (00:12:47):
Yes. I think it was the virality and then having an agency that was always working to, you know, take
advantage of whatever I was putting out. Like, okay, let's send this to Whole Foods in this place - Yeah.
Because they have this product. Yeah,
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:13:00):
That's right. Whole Foods.
Kasim Hardaway (00:13:00):
Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:13:01):
Got a few good images of you out there with like your Whole Foods hat and bag and - Uh-huh.
Kasim Hardaway (00:13:06):
So much lag.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:13:07):
And you did that for that kind of brand persona for how many years, I guess, as you moved away from
just doing Kansas City restaurants, content, stuff like that.
Kasim Hardaway (00:13:16):I would say at minimum three.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:13:18):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:13:19):
I would say three to four.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:13:21):
Mm-hmm.
Kasim Hardaway (00:13:21):
Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:13:22):
Okay. So we're gonna get into how that kind of evolved too. Okay. Okay. So I was going through like in
all my research, just kind of finding things that you put out there as a part of your brand and how you're
working today. But, um, what you said is that you walked away from a $500,000 influencer career with,
in all caps, no plan. How did you come, how did you get to that point? How did you come to that
decision? Walk us through that experience and what that was like. Because guaranteed, there's so many
people out there that are in burnout mode - uh-huh. And are scared to death of how do I keep this up?
Mm-hmm. What do I do? How do I walk away? Mm-hmm. So let's talk about that. That's a big deal to
walk away from that.
Kasim Hardaway (00:14:01):
Yeah. And I mean, you know more than people listening just because when I was an influencer, I was
supporting my whole family basically. Yeah. Like my mom was on my payroll. Mm-hmm. Um, I
oftentimes employed my stepdad. My brother did a lot of like community engagement, graphic design
stuff. Yeah. So like walking away from that put a lot of people in jeopardy or this place of uncertainty,
but I think I just got to a place where I just could not do it any longer. And I've talked about this a lot. I
don't think that being an influencer or a content creator is inherently bad. I think that it is troublesome
when you have a poor relationship with it. And for someone who has a childhood trauma that I have
where I would oftentimes associate my self worth with my productivity or external validation, it was so
easy to post something and then it would flop and I would feel like shit.
(00:14:59):
Yep. And I also wasn't doing the work to figure out like, why am I like this? Why does this keep
happening? Until I got to a point of no return.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:15:08):
Yeah. But I mean, wouldn't you be willing to bet 99.9% of us get that too? We're just like -
Kasim Hardaway (00:15:14):
100%. Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:15:16):I mean, it happens to me, right? I've been doing it for almost nine years and I have upwards of 100,000
followers and I have posts that get 30 likes. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, what? Mm-hmm. Is it me? Mm
hmm. Is it them? Mm-hmm. Is it the algorithm? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Like we all can't but help be it, but be
affected by it. Yeah. So I totally get that and I, you're not alone. But I do wanna hear, I wanna talk more
about the like childhood trauma part. Mm-hmm. Because you and I talked about people, first of all in this
podcast, like I cover so many topics and I was telling you that people are so into the like firsthand
heartfelt emotional stories and journeys that people have gone through. Mm-hmm. Um, I do have a big
focus on mental health. I'm working on a whole bunch of people who are coming on the podcast that tap
into mental health in some capacity.
(00:16:01):
Mm-hmm. It could be somebody, um, people that are, have been suicidal. Mm. It's people who do, um,
ket - offer ketamine treatment for people. It's EMDR therapists. I've had one on episode coming out soon.
But like this to me is such becoming a more openly common denominator for people. Mm-hmm. And if
you're willing to open up and talk about like what some of your childhood traumas were -
Kasim Hardaway (00:16:24):
Uh-huh.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:16:25):
I'd love to hear it.
Kasim Hardaway (00:16:26):
Yeah, definitely.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:16:27):
'Cause you and I haven't talked about it, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. So.
Kasim Hardaway (00:16:29):
And it's not, I will say, you know, trauma is trauma.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:16:33):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:16:34):
I think you can't compare it apples to apples. Yeah. But when I think about so many stories I've heard
from different people, I'm like, okay, you know, it's just a couple of scratches, you know? Yeah, yeah. But
I will say that I grew up in a household where there was a lot of love and care, but it wasn't shown in the
ways that I needed it. I will say that my parents weren't the most lovey-dovey, you know, communicating
the way they felt about me. Mm-hmm. And they also prioritize - Verbally. Yes, verbally. Yeah. Because I
would say my family shows it by making sure you have a roof over your head or making you a great
meal. And like those things are great. Like an act of
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:17:12):
Service orKasim Hardaway (00:17:13):
Gift. Yeah. Kind of back to the five love languages. Right. But as a child, there are just so many different
areas you need to hit to ensure. And I also say this, I think being human means you'll be traumatized. We
will all have trauma. Right. There's no way of escaping it. Nobody's immune to it. No one is immune to it.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:17:29)
No one's dating through life without
Kasim Hardaway (00:17:31):
It. Yes. Yeah. So it just happens regardless. Yeah. Um, but what I will say is I felt like I had to
overachieve or be excellent to be loved. So I felt myself always doing and always trying to get the A on
the test or get the 4.0 GPA so I could get that love because that's where I felt like I was able to receive it.
Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:17:56):
And
Kasim Hardaway (00:17:57):
So that just created this mentality of if I'm just average, if I'm just being myself, I won't be loved. And
that showed up not only in like the parental and child relationship, but in my friendships and other
relationships as well.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:18:11):
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Did you, I mean, I know mental health was like different back in the day, plus you
don't know how to communicate necessarily well as a child. I mean, every child is different. Mm-hmm.
Did you ever, did you know that at the time and were you able to communicate it to your parents in any
way,shape or form?
Kasim Hardaway (00:18:25):
No, this is all looking back at that
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:18:27):
Time.
Kasim Hardaway (00:18:27):
Okay. And thinking about how I behaved and what I did and how my parents kind of, you know, related
to me in those moments.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:18:35):
Yeah. You guys talk about it today, I would assume? Oh, yeah. And what did that conversation look like?
I mean,
Kasim Hardaway (00:18:39):
I will say this. Once I gave up everything, right, I was like, I'm walking away from this $500,000 career. Ihad to make a lot of lifestyle
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:18:45):
Changes. I bet. I bet. At that
Kasim Hardaway (00:18:46):
Time I had my own apartment. I had a house that I was paying for that my family lived in. We had to
consolidate.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:18:52):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:18:52):
So for almost a year, it's almost been a year since I've lived technically at home with my family. Okay.
And I feel like if you're an adult and have to move back home, a lot of your childhood trauma will
resurface just because you're in these similar spaces that you were when you were a kid. So there have
been so many conversations I've had with my mom, so many conversations I've had with my brother
because just being in a space where I see her parenting him is triggering sometimes, you know?
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:19:22):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:19:22):
And I use that word because it's the best way to describe it. And it's not like these terrible things are
happening, but I'm being reminded of certain things from my childhood.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:19:30):
Yeah. So how, uh, like a, did you have a certain breaking point in your adult years or like the content
creation or the blogging, all of that stuff that it hit you? Do you have like one moment in time? I'm sure it
was a gradual thing, but is there like one moment where you were like, whoa, like, okay, this is it. I think
I should probably seek out how to deal with this.
Kasim Hardaway (00:19:50):
Yes. I will say I had this little feeling of, I don't know if I can keep doing this. But the
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:19:55):
Feeling
Kasim Hardaway (00:19:55):
On the other side of that was, what will you do beside this? You've been doing this for so long, like what
can you do? Mm-hmm. Um, but the summer of 2024, I was so busy. I was doing this big like summer
grilling campaign for Impossible Foods. I was also doing like multiple activations just like on Instagram
for brands. Mm-hmm. And
(00:20:19):
Doing some other things. I had just bought a house and we were like moving into it. I just felt so
overwhelmed. Yeah. Like I'd never felt like that before. And it got to a point where I was like, I can't dothis. I started freaking out. My agency is just like, calm down. We're here to support you. Mm-hmm. And
I basically dropped everything. Like it was the first time I was like, I can't do this. And after that, I started
to go into a depression. And at the time it didn't feel like a depression to me, but I would wake up in the
morning, you know, let's say nine or 10, and I would not leave my room until like two or three in the
afternoon.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:20:57):
Mm-hmm.
Kasim Hardaway (00:20:57):
I would just sit in my bed to avoid starting the day. I just did not want to start anything.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:21:02):
Was it exhaustion? Was it I'm not feeling like I'm doing well enough? Back to that like feeling needing
the recognition or to be perfect. Like what do you think it finally was?
Kasim Hardaway (00:21:16):
I think it was a combination of a lot of things. Like if I think back to that period, I think I was exhausted.
Yeah. Because at that point, I mean, some of my content is still out there, but I really, I was really
intentional about the videos I shot and it was always in natural light. I didn't use artificial light, which
mean I worked around the sun.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:21:37):
Yeah. And
Kasim Hardaway (00:21:37):
That summer I had set up this grilling, um, set up in my backyard to cook at. And I had to wake up at like
six and I would work from like six to let's say nine before I got too hot and then go back after like 3:30
and then work again. But it was just like going to bed, not taking a shower, not really eating, waking up,
working. And I didn't have to work like that, but in my mind I was like, I have to keep working. I have to
keep working.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:22:04):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:22:05):
And it just created this, this, this condition I just didn't wanna be a part of. I was like, I don't wanna do
this. I can't do this anymore.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:22:14):
Yeah. Did you, did you know other people that were experiencing the same thing or did you feel like you
were like completely isolated in that?
Kasim Hardaway (00:22:20):
I felt completely isolated.Mindy Hargesheimer (00:22:22):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:22:23):
I definitely felt alone for a long time. Mm-hmm.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:22:26):
And
Kasim Hardaway (00:22:26):
I think I mostly felt alone because I wasn't really communicating what was going on in the inside. Yeah. I
think for a while I just tried to suppress it and say like,
"I'm having a bad day. I'm having a bad week. I'm
having a bad month.
" I think once I started to talk to people, I felt less alone.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:22:42):
Yeah. So did you cut it all off? Did you talk to your agency and be like,
"No more. Bye-bye.
"
Kasim Hardaway (00:22:48):
Like,
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:22:48):
What did that look like?
Kasim Hardaway (00:22:49):
It was a gradual process - Okay. Because again, I had so many people that relied on my income. Yeah.
And it just took me a while to say, okay, if I feel this way, I, I never considered suicide, but
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:23:02):
If a - I was gonna ask that question.
Kasim Hardaway (00:23:04):
If a plane crashed into my house and killed me, or if I walked into a street and a bus ran me over, I'd be
okay with that. So like passive suicide - Yeah. I wouldn't have actively done it. Mm-hmm. But if I could
have died - But
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:23:14):
You in your mind were welcoming.
Kasim Hardaway (00:23:16):
I was,
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:23:16):
Yeah.Kasim Hardaway (00:23:17):
Mm-hmm. So I was that low.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:23:18):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:23:19):
Um, and what was the question now I'm thinking about that?
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:23:23):
Did you just go,
"I'm done?"
Kasim Hardaway (00:23:24):
Oh, yes. So - Cut it off.
(00:23:25):
Gradual, but yes. There was a point where I was like, I sent an email to my agency and at this point, I was
turning down a lot of jobs. Yeah. And I think they knew because my agent was like,
"You know, this isn't
a surprise.
" Um, and it was Friday the 13th, actually. Oh, great. I don't remember which month, but it was
just so funny. Ironically. So it was a short conversation and ultimately they were very supportive. They
were like,
"We want you to be healthy. We want you to be happy.
" But I think - Yeah. The interesting
thing with that is like, but they're also an agency and they also - Their business. Yeah. So I think they did
what they could for me, but when I made that decision, yeah, I was like,
"I'm not looking back.
"
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:24:04):
Mm-hmm. And you, obviously, you don't look back at this point and think that that was a mike, right? Oh
no. I - We're gonna get into all the things that you're doing.
Kasim Hardaway (00:24:10):
I definitely think that was very purposeful and I needed to have that journey in order to inform what
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:24:16):
I'm doing
Kasim Hardaway (00:24:16):
Right now. Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:24:17):
So what were the next things that you did? Do you, did you seek out therapy? Did you seek out lifestyle
changes? Did you go to your family? Like, what helped you?
Kasim Hardaway (00:24:25):
So the first conversation I had was, was with my mom.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:24:29):Mm-hmm.
Kasim Hardaway (00:24:29):
Because I just need to put the cards on the table. I was like,
"This is how much I have saved. This how
much I have in retirement. When this runs out, if it runs out - Uh-huh. I don't know what we'll do, but
even if I have to lose this house that I bought to be able to leave this career behind, that's where I was at.
"
Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:24:44):
You know.
Kasim Hardaway (00:24:45):
I was willing to risk it all.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:24:47):
Was she like,
"I completely understand.
" It was - Did she see it coming?
Kasim Hardaway (00:24:52):
No, she didn't see it coming. I don't think anyone in my life saw how dark of a place I had gotten to, but I
think she was very much like,
"Whatever you need to do, I'm in support of.
" Mm-hmm. And I think I
needed that to really be able to say,
"I need to live my life for myself.
" Yeah.
"I wanna help my family, but
I shouldn't just carry all their weight on my shoulders.
" So I immediately got into therapy. I used
BetterHelp. Mm-hmm. And there are mixed reviews with it, but I did get matched with a great therapist -
Okay. That I feel like was really good for me. I love when people are very direct and don't beat around the
bush. Yeah. And it was incredible. I did therapy weekly for 10 months through BetterHelp. Mm-hmm. As
I was starting therapy, I also was just thinking about what I wanted to do creatively.
(00:25:37):
Mm-hmm. For many, many, many years. I knew I wanted to get into film. Yeah. But it was just this
question of, well, how? Like -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:25:44):
Sure.
Kasim Hardaway (00:25:45):
It -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:25:45):
'Cause you hadn't re - you hadn't historically done anything directly involving film.
Kasim Hardaway (00:25:49):
No.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:25:50):
Yeah.Kasim Hardaway (00:25:50):
Okay. No. I've been on sets before for like commercials and things like that, but nothing - Yeah. In terms
of film. So I was like,
"I want to create something that isn't based on the algorithm, isn't based on what a
client tells me.
" Mm-hmm. Just something that's really personal and unique to me. And so - What a
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:26:09):
Concept.
Kasim Hardaway (00:26:10):
That's where
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:26:11):
Right.
Kasim Hardaway (00:26:11):
The unbecoming came from.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:26:13):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:26:13):
Um, and I spent a very long time just kind of like figuring out, okay, I want this chapter to be like this and
this chapter to be like this. And this is the overall story and da, da, da, da, da. And then I shot it. That was
like the first thing I did after therapy. It was like the Unbecoming was my first big project.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:26:28):
How quickly did that come to you and how quickly did you like produce it? And I'm wondering if, did
you have this moment of clarity of like this is the next thing, this is it? Yes. Or was it gradual?
Kasim Hardaway (00:26:40):
No, it was a moment of clarity where I had just finished up a therapy appointment and I was doing some
writing and just thinking about how I had to go through this journey of unbecoming now. Like I had all
these things that I knew no longer served me and I was ready to let them go. And I was like, this could be
really cool to document. And at first it was gonna be more of like a documentary, like - Yeah. I used to be
this person and now I'm trying to be this person. Here's my story. But again, I've always had like
theatrical flair. I used to be in theater. Yeah. And so I was like, no, I don't want to go that route. I want it
to be really experiential. Mm-hmm. I wanna be on camera. I want it to be very weird. And I wanna do
whatever I want to do - Yeah.
(00:27:21):
Ultimately. Yeah. So that was the first thing I did.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:27:24):
Okay. And I asked about the clarity thing because, um, and I love the concept of you being very
transparent about walking away from what you walked away from - uh-huh. What you're making. Um,because I think that's probably, especially as somebody who left the corporate world a little over a year
ago and had the fear of like, I'm giving up a salary. Mm-hmm. You know, what am I gonna do? Mm hmm.
Um, even though I'm so happy to have a spouse with me that can help support me. Mm-hmm. I had sai -
money and savings to tap into. Those things are so important. That's a whole other podcast 2.0 about
financially what everybody, what all of us need to be doing - uh-huh. To have that. And thankfully you
have that too. But nonetheless, there's the fear of what if I don't make it? What if I don't figure it out?
(00:28:09):
What if I try something and it fails? How embarrassing. All the things that so many people are thinking
about, but they haven't found the person to give them that,
(00:28:19):
Um, glimmer of like,
"Oh my God, he did it. She, I can do it.
" Mm-hmm. It is time. And I had a moment
of clarity of like, I got, it's time to walk away. Mm-hmm. It's time to build my own thing full time. But it
was a moment of clarity that came unexpectedly, right? Mm-hmm. So I find it kind of interesting how life
can do that. Mm-hmm. But I knew to act on it. Mm-hmm. So that's why I was curious if you had kind of
like a light bulb moment with yours to be like the unbecoming, wow, this is the next big thing for me.
Kasim Hardaway (00:28:43):
Yeah. And I will say I'm a person that fully believes in like intuition and just like listening to the signs
and really listening to yourself. Mm-hmm. I think that seeking outside advice is great, but I also think that
a lot of the answers we need, we just need to get quiet and seek them within ourselves. Yes. And I was
feeling that tug - Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:29:02):
Again
Kasim Hardaway (00:29:02):
For a while.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:29:03):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:29:03):
I think things happen as they happen.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:29:06):
Mm-hmm.
Kasim Hardaway (00:29:07):
But I felt that for a while.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:29:08):
Yeah. And to that point, I was listening to something the other day about like people, especially now, are
just scared to be in their own thought, right? Mm-hmm. We've got TVs on in the background, we've got
phones, we're streaming, we've got music, we've got podcasts, all the things. And I can't remember who it
was that was talking about it, but like every day take five to 10, five to 10 minutes a day and just sit with
yourself and see what thoughts come to mind. And you might surprise yourself with what comes to be.And I was like, that's actually quite powerful. I mean, because our minds are so busy, but like these ideas
come out of nowhere.
Kasim Hardaway (00:29:43):
Mm-hmm.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:29:43):
Mm-hmm. Who could ex explain that? Yes. But then the next thing happens.
Kasim Hardaway (00:29:46):
Yes. I, I'll just reiterate, like, it is so important to make time for yourself.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:29:51)
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:29:52):
I've been doing it for the last year and a half. I'm up to 50 minutes a day. Every morning I'm in silence and
it's not just like meditating. Amazing. Okay. Meditate, do visualization practices. I have manifestation
statements. I do journaling. And how it has intrinsically changed me as a person, I feel calmer, more
grounded, more present. I think it's incredibly important to, you know, be aware that we're in a society
that pulls you in so many directions all of the time - Yeah. And that you need to make time for yourself.
You have to, even five minutes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:30:24):
Yeah. Okay, so you know better than I do. every single day. I'm like, you should be, uh, you should be
talking about how all of us can do that. I, like, I have not tried... I mean, I've tried meditation. I have not
gone there yet. Mm-hmm. I know I need to keep trying that. Mm-hmm. It's probably something that you
had to practice that too, right?
Kasim Hardaway (00:30:40):
Yeah. And I will say it's not easy - Yeah. Because it's the opposite of what you're used to. But when you
think about meditation, it doesn't have to be, I'm gonna sit in silence for five minutes. Yeah. Sometimes I
do visualization of like, okay, what do I want in the next five years? What does that life look like? What
does it smell like? Where am I? What am I wearing? And just get lost - Yeah. In that kind of meditative
space of visualization. Mm-hmm. Um, I think writing is also really good. Just whatever's coming to your
mind, just put it out. I've heard
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:31:09):
That. Just even if it makes no sense, just write the words that are coming to mind. Put out there. If it's
negative, put out there. Mm-hmm. Do whatever you want with it afterwards.
Kasim Hardaway (00:31:16):
There's this term in screenwriting called blue skying, and it's basically where you allow it to be a big blue
sky. You don't edit anything. It's just unfiltered thoughts. I do a lot of that.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:31:26):Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (00:31:26):
I have tens and tens of pages of blue skies. But yeah, I think having time for yourself is like super
important.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:31:34):
Yeah, that's amazing. Okay, so the unbecoming.
Kasim Hardaway (00:31:36):
Okay.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:31:37):
So I saw you. Thank you for inviting me to your premiere at the Army. Thank you for coming. That was
when? Was that last summer?
Kasim Hardaway (00:31:42):
Last fall.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:31:43):
2025. Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:31:44):
Uh-huh.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:31:44):
Um, how... Let's talk about what you did and how people can still engage with that to this day and where
you're taking that.
Kasim Hardaway (00:31:52):
Okay.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:31:52):
This is you getting into filmmaking. Yes. You being the star. And producer and director,
Kasim Hardaway (00:31:57):
Right? Yeah. So I think the goal was always direction, right? But my grandma always said,
"Swing with
the sword you have.
" So for me, I was like,
"I will be the actor, director, producer, writer, all of it.
"
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:32:08):
Amazing.
Kasim Hardaway (00:32:09):
And I think it also was just a great experience for me to learn how to do a lot of different things. I watch alot of YouTube tutorials. I read a lot of screenwriting for dummies and, um, books like that. But, um, The
Unbecoming is a six-part experiential film. It's only 10 minutes. You can watch it on YouTube for free.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:32:28):
Yep.
Kasim Hardaway (00:32:29):
Um, and it just explores what my unbecoming looked like, you know, identifying that I was in this place
where I was stuck and I was holding onto control and shedding those identities and expectations to
eventually come back to the self - uh-huh. That has always been here. You know, I personally believe that
to become a better person, you need to first start by unbecoming everything that isn't you, right?
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:32:57):
Why do you think that we all are becoming the things that we didn't think that, that we aren't? I wrote this,
you just referenced something that I wrote down, which I have to find on here is healing often begins not
by becoming someone new, but by returning to who we have always been. So I wrote that down because I
loved it and that's exactly what you just referenced. Yes. So, I mean, are we just living in a world where
we feel like the need to be somebody, something for somebody or is the social media world telling us that
we need to be doing something that is not authentic to us? Like how do we...
Kasim Hardaway (00:33:28):
I think it's all of it. Avoid that. And I think social media is a big part of it, but it's just like media
consumption in general. In general. Yeah. You know, we're consuming so much more media than we
used to. Right. And you see these in quote unquote perfect bodies or the perfect style or the perfect
aesthetic or living this kind of lifestyle and eating this kind of diet. It's ridiculous. Yeah. There are just so
many layers to it and I think we oftentimes will grab onto things and just hold onto it like it's ours, but it
really isn't ours to begin with.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:33:59):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:34:00):
I think about in terms of like growing up, there are certain ways of behaving we lean into out of just like
wanting to survive. And I mean that in the sense of, you know, people complimenting you - Yeah. Or you
getting that external validation. Maybe you are inherently quiet. Mm-hmm. But someone always
reprimanded you and said,
"Start using your voice. Start using your voice.
" And you became loud, but
that's not something you feel comfortable with. Yeah. So thinking about those things, which takes time,
you know, I fortunately or unfortunately had over a year where I was not working and I was really
committed to doing this kind of self-work, but also creating this art. So it just gave me a lot of space to
explore a lot of that.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:34:41):
And okay. So going back to the six parts of this - Yes. Can you name what those are and how those kind
of came to be?Kasim Hardaway (00:34:47):
Yes. So the first one is stuck. Okay. And that's where I was at. I felt like I kind of knew where I wanted to
go, but I didn't really know how to go there. Yeah. And I felt like I was in a loop. It's almost like a
Groundhog Day is the video. Yeah. You're seeing me waking up, going through the motions and just
growing more frustrated and more angry that I can't break this loop. Yeah. And for me, when I found
myself in situations that were hard or frustrating, I just grasped onto control more. What can I control
more? Because that gives me the power or the idea that I have the power.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:35:25):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:35:25):
So that's the second chapter. Okay. The third chapter is death and that's sort of like killing the ego, killing
the versions of you that are actually not you so that you can get to that
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:35:37):
Person that's deeper. Returning back to who you are. Yeah. Yep.
Kasim Hardaway (00:35:40):
And so once you kill that metaphorical person, um, you need to shed all of those other smaller things that
were attached with it. And I think that's just a slow process because there are certain things that are so
deeply interconnected and interweaved or sewn within you that you're like,
"Oh, I kind of thought that
was me, but that actually isn't.
" Yeah. You just kind of like come to that. So the fourth one is called
shedding and then fifth is, the fifth chapter is called the void.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:36:10):
Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (00:36:11):
And it's basically the space where you're no longer the person you were and you're not yet the version of
self that you want to be. Mm-hmm. It's sort of that liminal space where you're waiting to be that person.
It's just kind of like you're almost there, but you're not quite there yet.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:36:29):
Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (00:36:30):
And then the final chapter is called return and that's the part of, you know -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:36:34):
Yeah. I've
Kasim Hardaway (00:36:34):
Gone through this process. I found myself again. You know, I'm now ready to start becoming.Mindy Hargesheimer (00:36:39):
Okay. What did that do for you? To this day, how has that impacted you based on what it started as, what
you wanted to get out of it, where you are today?
Kasim Hardaway (00:36:49):
Um, so much catharsis.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:36:52):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:36:52):
Like one. I felt when I completed that, I will never know what it's like to have a baby, but I was like,
"This is the closest I will get to having a child.
"
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:37:02):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:37:02):
Um, and it's now the foundation of everything that I do, whether it just be the philosophy of all of my
artwork or, you know, what the premise of it is. But I really do believe in this process of shedding so that
you can become the version of yourself you were always meant to be. So even when you think about take
what you need - uh-huh. It is based on the principles of unbecoming. Yeah. When I think about, I've
written a feature film screenplay and then an episodic, uh, script as well, a pilot. And they're both based
on the foundation
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:37:37):
Of the uncoming. These are gonna be coming, right? They're not out yet. Yes. Yes.Cause I have that on
my list to chat with you about. They're not out yet. Okay. Okay. Got it. Okay. So catharsis for you. What
about other people who saw it, have seen it, feedback, what has it done for other people that you've
heard?
Kasim Hardaway (00:37:52):
Um, the responses have been varied, right? Yeah. I went on the festival circuit and I had the pris -
privilege of going to, um, Culver City, California.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:38:05):
Yeah, that's what I DM'd you. I was like,
"You're famous.
"
Kasim Hardaway (00:38:07):
Yeah. And I was like,
"Oh, okay.
" Um, I also went to, um, Gary, Indiana. Um, and I was
awarded for a couple of others, but I was in person at the showing at these two. Okay.
(00:38:20):
And it was two very different environments. So Culver City, it's kind of like young filmmakers, you
know, up and coming. So it was a lot of great chat about the art- artistic direction and - Yeah. You know,the script and like the lighting and that type of stuff. Yeah. When I went to Gary, Indiana, it was, it felt
like a, like, black American homecoming. Like it felt like I went to a Baptist church in the deep south.
Interesting. And I was a little like worried because you've seen the Unbecoming. Yeah. And I'm like, this
is my art and I'm proud of it, but I know it, it's not going to land well with everyone. Yeah. And
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:38:58):
So
Kasim Hardaway (00:38:58):
It was a packed theater. I mean, there were like 350 people in this theater when the Unbecoming is
showing. And I can hear people sighing and like gasping. And Mindy, I was so worried. I'm like sitting in
my seat like - Sweating. It's like lights are down. Yeah. What day
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:39:14):
Do I leave?
Kasim Hardaway (00:39:14):
But afterwards, so many people came up to me and they were like, you know, I didn't know where it was
going, but this was so beautiful. Like I'm telling my nephew about it. I'm telling my son, like, can I give
you a hug? Yeah. We
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:39:25):
Need
Kasim Hardaway (00:39:25):
More of this in the world. And I'm like, woo.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:39:28):
Make it out. Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:39:30):
So for the most part, it has been really well received, but I oftentimes will get people who are like kind of
midway and they're like, uh, uh, uh, and they're like, oh. Oh,
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:39:39):
Just watch the whole thing. Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:39:39):
Make it
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:39:40):
Through the - It's only
Kasim Hardaway (00:39:41):
10 minutes.Mindy Hargesheimer (00:39:41):
Yeah. Was the, um, Armor Theater, was that the first time you had like premiered it to an audience? Yes.
So - Which is, I was there.
Kasim Hardaway (00:39:48):
Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:39:49):
So
Kasim Hardaway (00:39:49):
So... In my mind that was kind of like the private showing.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:39:52):
Yeah. It's like
Kasim Hardaway (00:39:52):
Okay, I'm just gonna invite - Kind
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:39:54):
Of get your feet wet with.
Kasim Hardaway (00:39:55):
Yeah. Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:39:56):
Before
Kasim Hardaway (00:39:56):
I get on the road for it.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:39:58):
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you did the Unbecoming and where did you go from there?
Kasim Hardaway (00:40:04):
So as I was working on The Unbecoming, I was also working on Take Wat You Need. Okay.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:40:09):
It was
Kasim Hardaway (00:40:09):
More back burner.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:40:10):Got it.
Kasim Hardaway (00:40:11):
But I started writing as I was writing The Unbecoming because if you've seen The Unbecoming or if
you've read the initial substacks I wrote about The Unbecoming, you'll see a lot of similarities between
that and Takehat You need.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:40:25):
Okay. And by the way, I forgot, you have a book.
Kasim Hardaway (00:40:28):
I do.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:40:28)
The Unbecoming is a book. I did not know that until my research and I'm on Amazon. Is it just Kindle
digital version only? Yes. Mm-hmm. Okay. So congrats on that. Yeah. So-You're also a published author.
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:40:40):
So it's funny because I made this reset, right? So the Unbecoming has six chapters. I made a six-week
reset that walks people through each of those chapters -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:40:48):
Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (00:40:49):
To do reflection, journaling and some ritual to guide them through this practice. And as I was thinking
about what I wanted to do next, I, as I was telling you, like the Unbecoming to me is just the foundation
of my work and I really want to expand it. Mm-hmm. So I basically took that six week reset and
expanded it a little bit. Okay. So it's like a 60, 65 page book.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:41:10):
That's amazing though. Yeah. Good for you. Thank you. I've had a lot of people come on and talk about
books that they publish and I'm like, I feel like that's a huge thing to figure out, even if you're self
publishing, which I'm assuming is what you did. Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:41:20):
Mm-hmm.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:41:20):
Um, so props to you. Thank you. That's really cool. Thank you. I can direct people to that too. Okay. So
take what you need. So let's talk about that. Okay. That's been around, this is what, your second year kind
of with it being a public installation? This willKasim Hardaway (00:41:31):
Be my first year. Like I'm just
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:41:33):
Passing
Kasim Hardaway (00:41:33):
The one year mark. Okay.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:41:34):
In like
Kasim Hardaway (00:41:35):
June it was a year.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:41:36):
Okay. Mm-hmm. In June it was a year. Mm-hmm. Okay. So where can people interact with that now?
Well, first of all, tell it what it, tell us what it is. Okay. For those that don't know what it is and then how
they can engage with it.
Kasim Hardaway (00:41:47):
Yeah. So Take What You Need is an interactive mental health focused art installation. So it's not here, but
if you can imagine a wooden frame, um, with fishing wire that goes from one side to the other, it's
horizontally laid. Each line of fishing wire has envelopes that are hung on the fishing wire by clothes
pens. And each envelope speaks to a specific ache or pain that I believe is universally resonant to the
human experience. Mm-hmm. So to the one who mistakes control for safety, to the one who is haunted by
perfection - uh-huh. To the one who feels like they need to hold everyone else together. Um, the original
collection of letters was about 40. Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:42:32):
Um,
Kasim Hardaway (00:42:33):
And so yeah, you just take what you need. The name implies the action. And if someone comes to mind,
you can take something for them too.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:42:41):
Okay. So I, so I had here letters to ease the ache of the human experience. Mm-hmm. That's a really good
way to articulate it.
Kasim Hardaway (00:42:47):
Thank you. I love
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:42:48):
That. That was theKasim Hardaway (00:42:48):
Original kind of like -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:42:50):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:42:50):
Subtitle to it.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:42:51):
Yeah. So take what you need started as 40 letters that you wrote for yourself.
Kasim Hardaway (00:42:54):
Mm-hmm.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:42:56):
So the, so most of these, probably not all of them at this point are what you've experienced, um,
personally - uh-huh. But the majority of them probably in some way shape or form - uh-huh. Is something
that you felt. I'm imagining you probably have letters that you have found other people - Yes. Are
experiencing to add that into the mix. Um, how did you decide for it to be a public installation? That's
really cool. Obviously very creative, very innovative. Was that like a whoop, woke up at three in the
morning, write it down.
Kasim Hardaway (00:43:22):
Yeah. That's so funny because I have a lot, I have a note that is called like, I don't know if it's 1:00 or 2:00
AM thoughts, but just grab the phone, go back to sleep.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:43:30):
I'm not kidding. I think like the most like brilliant, successful people talk about everything comes to them
in the middle of the night and they wake up and they write it down so they don't forget it. So - Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:43:40):
And I used to be the person that didn't write down. Einstein. And then I was like, I'm upset with myself
because I don't remember. So I got enough of that. But, um - Yeah. I, no, I knew about that when I was
working on the l - well, no, I'm, no, I'm not telling the truth. I feel like I was a few letters. Don't
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:43:56):
Lie. Fact check. There was no
Kasim Hardaway (00:43:58):
Fact checking on us. I was probably a few letters in, let's say a dozen when I decided. And the decision
was based on the fact that I felt like even though I have a wonderful support network -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:44:10):
Uh-huh.Kasim Hardaway (00:44:10):
You know, I'm so blessed to have the family and friends that I had. I didn't feel super comfortable talking
about the things I was dealing with just because it didn't feel typical, right? Sure. Not that it was
abnormal, but I felt like it was a thing to say,
"Hey, this is what I've been thinking about and what I've
been feeling.
"
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:44:31):
Mm-hmm.
Kasim Hardaway (00:44:31):
And in therapy, as I was talking to my therapist, I started to realize like everything I was talking about
was not unique to me. It was deeply personal to my lived experience, but it was not unique to me.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:44:43):
That's a good way to put it. Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:44:44):
And I started thinking about how if it's not unique to me and we're all dealing with these things, why
aren't we all talking about it in a way that just feels a little bit more normal and accessible? Mm-hmm.
And that's when I had the idea, what if I created a space, not necessarily for people to talk about it
because there's no talking involved with the installation, but for people to approach these things in their
everyday life.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:45:10):
Mm-hmm. So is it out right now? I mean, this podcast will come out a - whenever it comes out. Mm
hmm. But like it's August right now. Uh-huh. So is the installation active right now?
Kasim Hardaway (00:45:20):
So yes. I just did a pop-up at a event called Americana Festival.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:45:26):
Yeah. I don't
Kasim Hardaway (00:45:27):
Know if you're familiar with it. And then the two weekends prior to that, I was at City Market. Um -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:45:32):
Yeah. I caught you at the tail end at City Market. Yeah. But you were also at Union Station during
feedback weeks. So you'll have to share that. Yeah. What that was like.
Kasim Hardaway (00:45:38):
Um, and so right now, and this is kind of getting ahead of the question. Sure. Right now, excuse me. I've
realized that I'm the bottleneck for the experience, right? It's like my thing and I like bring it to places.
And I'm working on figuring out how to make it accessible for communities at all different price pointsand all different levels of engagement. Um, so I've been meeting with like 3D printers because it's like a
wooden insulation.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:46:04):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:46:04):
And that was like the biggest barrier. They're very heavy -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:46:07):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:46:08):
To ship, but also they cost a little bit of money to make. Mm-hmm.
Kasim Hardaway (00:46:12):
I've been meeting with a 3D printer who can make a version that's light - Okay. And collapsible. Okay. So
that way, if someone wants it in, like, for example, talking to the Dutch Cancer Institute - uh-huh. In the
Netherlands, they can have it and it doesn't have to cost an arm and the leg.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:46:27):
You are really talking to them?
Kasim Hardaway (00:46:29):
Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:46:29):
I'm really - Incredible?
Kasim Hardaway (00:46:30):
Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:46:30):
How'd they find you? How'd they
Kasim Hardaway (00:46:31):
Find you? TikTok, which is so funny
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:46:33):
Because when
Kasim Hardaway (00:46:34):
I left being a social media influencer, I was like,
"I'm never gonna post on social media
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:46:38):
Again.
"Kasim Hardaway (00:46:39):
Yeah. And
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:46:39):
Then - Right. Yeah. It's kind of, it's kind of impossible sadly, right? So
Kasim Hardaway (00:46:43):
Basically to answer your question, we don't have a pop-up on the schedule because I've been kind of
focusing on how do I just get this to more people?
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:46:50)
Yeah. Okay. So I guess that begs the question for people who hear this and they're like,
"This is such a
cool concept. I want it.
" What do they do? Do they reach out to you? They place an order? Like how does
this all work?
Kasim Hardaway (00:47:02):
Yep. Right now it's like a very simple inquiry form where you can select your kind of budget level. And I
have something for every budget as small as 10 bucks. So -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:47:11):
Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (00:47:12):
You can have some form of the insulation at that level. And you can just go to my Instagram,
Kasimjardaway or the take what you needs Instagram twin.wall, T-W-Y-N.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:47:23):
Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (00:47:24):
And the link in bio has an inquiry form that you can fill out.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:47:27):
Okay. And then do you anticipate continuing to do pop-ups around Kansas City for people, probably a
large majority of people here who will hear it would be Casey and around?
Kasim Hardaway (00:47:36):
Yeah, definitely. I just love the original concept of taking it to a everyday civic space where you're like, I
was not expecting to see something like that today, you know? Yeah. Absolutely. I love people's reactions
and how it just kind of stops them and they're like,
"What is that?" So, um, definitely. I'll probably be
back at City Market. There are a lot of holiday markets in Kansas City.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:47:58):Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:47:59):
I do, I started a holiday kind of collection of letters last year during the holiday season that I wanna kind
of debut this holiday season.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:48:09):
So do you have to keep writing new letters to not repeat?
Kasim Hardaway (00:48:12):
No. So I think that's part of it. So part of take what you need is I don't love when people take multiple
letters because the point of the installation to me is for you to take what really resonates. PSA,
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:48:24):
Take one. Yes. Yes. Take
Kasim Hardaway (00:48:27):
One. Unless you're taking one for someone
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:48:29):
Else. Sure. Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:48:29):
But the point is that in this moment when you're in front of the installation, there's probably something
that's more top of mind than anything else. Yeah. And that's what I want you to choose the letter for
because it's really about speaking to that specific ache and pain. You could probably read all of the letters
and say,
"Oh yeah, I remember when I felt like this or I felt like this.
" Mm-hmm. And that's not the point
of it. I want it to be powerful and the way it's powerful is by being super intentional. Yeah. Um, so yeah. I
feel like I started to answer your question but I didn't
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:49:00):
Maybe. No, that's good. But I wanna know, like walk me through me or somebody, what happens? You
walk up to the installation, you find the one that speaks to you. Mm-hmm. Do you read it right there? Do
you take it home?
Kasim Hardaway (00:49:11):
I -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:49:12):
What happens?
Kasim Hardaway (00:49:13):
Usually I am standing alongside the installation and I can, now I've gotten better at gauging how people
are receiving it. Mm-hmm. So if someone seems a little emotional before they've even opened it, I'm like,
"Uh-uh, don't read that here.
" Oh,Mindy Hargesheimer (00:49:24):
Interesting.
Kasim Hardaway (00:49:25):
Okay. Um, not that they're sad. They're not sad. I, I would say they're more encouraging and uplifting and
validating and they definitely make you feel seen with whatever you're dealing with.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:49:34):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:49:35):
But I think what is best is just taking that and reading it when you feel like you need to
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:49:42):
Also. Okay. Uh, that's amazing. I was gonna ask if you were there. Obviously I've seen you there. Mm
hmm. Um, but then I was like,
"Are you like hovering in the corner to try to watch the reactions that
people might have reading a letter?" Do you have any interesting stories to tell about reactions that people
have had or, or even contacting you afterwards to be like,
"Oh my gosh, this is what transpired.
"
Kasim Hardaway (00:50:02):
Oh my God. I have so many stories. I bet. I love the stories that kind of unfold in the moment. And I think
as I was telling you before we started, I'm willing to go as far as you want to go because
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:50:14):
In
Kasim Hardaway (00:50:15):
Putting this out there -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:50:16):
Let's go all the way.
Kasim Hardaway (00:50:19):
In putting this out there, it's like, it's welcoming people to feel comfortable to talk to you about what
they're dealing with. Yeah. I had this, um, man, and I'm, I'm not gonna remember his name, but literally
after he talked to me, I wrote up everything he said and emailed it to myself. Hmm.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:50:32):
But
Kasim Hardaway (00:50:32):
He was visiting from Mexico during the, um, World Cup.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:50:36):
Okay.Kasim Hardaway (00:50:37):
And I can't remember which letter he took, but he told me a story about how he was kidnapped twice in
Mexico. And the second time he didn't think he would survive, but he was able to get away. And for
months, he had nightmares and did not feel safe in his own home. But he ended up writing a letter to his
kidnapper that never made it to the kidnapper. It was just part of his healing. Therapy. Yes. Sure. Okay.
And he said it was just so healing and I was just like,
"Wow, I really appreciate you for telling me this
story.
" One.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:51:09):
Truly the things that people go through.
Kasim Hardaway (00:51:11):
Yeah. Yeah,
(00:51:12):
Yeah. Um, I also had this one man come up to my installation at, um, Union Station. Then he brought his
wife. Mm-hmm. Then he's brought his daughter. Then he brought his other two daughters. And it was
really beautiful to see them as a family interact with it. And one thing I love seeing is when a family
member will give another family member a letter because the way I see you may not be how you see
yourself. Yeah. And one of the daughters did that with the dad and it was just such an emotional moment
- uh-huh. I guess for him to see her seeing him in such a way. It's like,
"Dad, I think you need this.
"
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:51:45):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:51:46):
So lots of beautiful moments.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:51:48):
Yeah. I love that. Okay. So you are also getting into w - all the other things here. What do you have?
You have, what is the Healing Forest?
Kasim Hardaway (00:51:57):
So The Healing Forest is like the ultimate evolution of Takehat You Need. Okay. Initially, I was planning
to launch it this fall, but I think I like how Take What Need has been received. I'm just gonna ride that
wave. Yeah. The Healing of Forest makes Take What You Need fully immersive.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:52:13):
Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (00:52:14):
So instead of reading letters, you'd be given a set of refurbished headphones and a phone that's r - offline,
but has the letters on them. You wouldn't take any letters when you go in, you would actually use that
phone to scan a QR code on a letter. And the letter is read to you through the headphones with some very,
like, calming zen music.Mindy Hargesheimer (00:52:36):
Is it your voice?
Kasim Hardaway (00:52:37):
It is.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:52:38):
Perfect. It should be.
Kasim Hardaway (00:52:39):
And you're able to be in the forest for five minutes just to ensure everyone can get in. Mm-hmm. And
then as you're coming out, you are given a piece of, um, seed paper so you can plant your own little
forest.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:52:52):
That's incredible.
Kasim Hardaway (00:52:53):
Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:52:53):
Again, where did this idea stem from?
Kasim Hardaway (00:52:56):
This actually came about because of a very specific grant that I did not get. It's called the Bobby Anspatch
Grant. Very wonderful event. I mean, grant- Grant, yeah. That, uh, ties in sustainability with healing in the
collective. And I was thinking about take what you need and how could I apply for that? And I was just
thinking about all the evolutions it could become. Yeah. And that's when
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:53:18):
I was like
Kasim Hardaway (00:53:18):
Immersive, sustainable, um, and healing as well.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:53:23):
So is that something, it'll be in Kansas City, you'll, to be determined like where it will be. Will it be free
to the public? Will it be a experience to pay for? Do we know that yet?
Kasim Hardaway (00:53:31):
No, we don't know that yet.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:53:32):
Okay.Kasim Hardaway (00:53:32):
But in terms of hopes, no one will have to pay for it. Okay. That's
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:53:36):
Like
Kasim Hardaway (00:53:36):
One of my big things. Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:53:37):
Hopefully
Kasim Hardaway (00:53:37):
The site pays for it. And that would be something that would travel.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:53:41):
Okay. Got it. So more to come on that.
Kasim Hardaway (00:53:43):
Mm-hmm.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:53:43):
Definitely share with me so I can share with you too. I will.
Kasim Hardaway (00:53:45):
I will.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:53:45):
Um, and then you talked about what, the episodic series? Yes. What else do you have in the works that
we can follow, get excited about?
Kasim Hardaway (00:53:53):
Okay. So on the screenwriting side of things, I have applied to a couple of different programs. Um, and
it's using two, uh, scripts I've written.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:54:04):
Mm-hmm.
Kasim Hardaway (00:54:05):
And it's funny thinking about these because I'm so like A or B, I never can be like A and B at the same
time. I'm very much in my take what you need kind of like healing phase. Yeah. And a couple of months
ago I was knee deep in writing, like on my laptop every day writing for four or five hours a day. Um, I'm
either off or one. So this is the first time I've been talking about my film stuff in a while, but I wrote twoscreenplays. One is called On the Other Side, which is a feature film. And the other is episodic and it's
called Picture Perfect. On the other side follows a elderly Native American woman who moves into this
very quaint neighborhood. And, um, her neighbor, who she spends a lot of time with as a younger kid -
uh-huh. Lives in a very abusive household.
(00:54:50):
And one night it gets pretty rough and we come to find out that she has this ancestral power in which she
can control people's bodies. And so the whole future film is about inherited trauma.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:55:03):
Mm-hmm. You
Kasim Hardaway (00:55:04):
Know, people's perception of who they are because on the outside, she's just this very homey grandma
that wouldn't hurt anything. But because she has this very close connection with the child, she wants to
protect him. Wow. And so she uses that power and there are consequences. Okay. Uh, Picture Perfect is
very much me. It, it's me in a different reality. So it follows a woman named Samantha. She's a very
high performing interior designer who's used to curating her life. She's won all the awards. She's known
around town and suddenly a divorce fractures her life. It's very unexpected and sends her to a mental
health breakdown. But as she's going through this breakdown, all of the feelings that she has suppressed
are anthropomologized.That's not how you say that word, but basically -
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:55:57):
But I like it. Yeah. Her
Kasim Hardaway (00:55:58):
Anxiety takes shape and actually has formed. Think like inside out where feelings - Yeah. Actually have
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:56:04):
A
Kasim Hardaway (00:56:04):
Form.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:56:05):
And so those are, these are your organic original ideas - Yes. That who do you work, you're creating this
on your own or you're working with who?
Kasim Hardaway (00:56:13):
This is just me.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:56:16):
Oh my gosh.
Kasim Hardaway (00:56:16):
And myMindy Hargesheimer (00:56:17):
Favorites. Just like you did with The Unbecoming. That was all you. Mm-hmm.mm. All the filming. Mm
hmm. Audio, everything. Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (00:56:22):
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I mean, I love creating. Yeah. I will say that's definitely the through line. You're
really very good at it. I love it. Obviously. And I especially love it now because I'm not answering to
anyone yet. Mm-hmm. So I can literally create whatever I wanna create. If I wanna create a story about a
Native American woman who can control someone's body, I can do that.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:56:42):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:56:42)
If I wanna make anxiety this monster that looks like the twin version of this woman shrouded in shadow,
I can do that.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:56:49):
Yeah. Yeah. And so
Kasim Hardaway (00:56:50):
I've just been riding that wave.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:56:52):
That's really cool. Okay. So mental health, kind of like umbrella topic. It's something that's become
important to you. Yeah. You've experienced firsthand. What are your biggest takeaways or biggest
thoughts, like as it pertains to mental health today for everyone who's struggling from something? How
do you kinda sum up what you're like such an advocate for with mental health or how you think about
mental health today and what we all should be doing to be taking care of our health?
Kasim Hardaway (00:57:24):
As you said, I feel like mental health is this big - It's huge. Nebulous thing. Like, oh my God. Yeah. I
think the most important thing that everyone can do is extend themselves grace no matter where you are
in your journey. I think it's important to be gracious with yourself. We are all human beings doing this for
the first time navigating complexities and nuances. Yeah. And in order to really make space for healing,
you just need to be gracious. Yeah. We make mistakes, give yourself grace, and also be mindful of your
neighbor. And I mean that literally just me and you, the person you live next to, the person you work next
to. Sure. You just don't know what people are dealing with. Yeah. You know, some of us are closer to that
tipping point than others. And it's just important to remember that in a time that feels so perilous, you
know - Yeah.
(00:58:12):
Climate change, political division, racism, bigotry, like could go on and on and on. Mm-hmm. Remember
to, you know, show yourself some empathy, but also show some empathy to others as well.Mindy Hargesheimer (00:58:23):
Do people, have they started coming to you as kind of a outlet to share what's going on with them?
Kasim Hardaway (00:58:29):
Oh, yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:58:29):
To coach, mentor them, to be their therapist? Like what does that look like?
Kasim Hardaway (00:58:32):
Oh yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:58:33):
I - And I wanna say, by the way, you mentioned something before I was gonna say, oh, I didn't see you as
much during the time that you were doing like, um, the working with Aldi and like the unbecoming and
stuff. But I would've guessed that people probably wouldn't have known what was ma- maybe what you
were feeling because you are so positive - uh-huh. And like a bright light - mm-hmm.m. Every time
people are around you. So that didn't surprise me that you said that. Mm-hmm. Which is probably what so
many other people are of course going through. Mm-hmm. Which is why, you know, I'm sure they're,
what you're saying, like, be kind to your neighbor, check in on people - uh-huh. Because we're hiding so
much. Yeah. But your persona is so, like, contagious - Mm. In terms of positivity and, like, doing such
good things. So - Thank
Kasim Hardaway (00:59:11):
You.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:59:12):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:59:12):
Thank
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:59:12):
You. Yeah. Um, but back to that, anything else with the mental health? Like, go to therapy. Um -
Kasim Hardaway (00:59:18):
See, and
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:59:19):
I... Do the, do the silent time with yourself. Any other things that you would highly recommend people
do?
Kasim Hardaway (00:59:23):
I love therapy, but I know there are a couple of barriers to therapy.Mindy Hargesheimer (00:59:27):
Yes.
Kasim Hardaway (00:59:27):
If you can't go to therapy, at least make time for yourself.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:59:31):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:59:31):
At least make time for yourself.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:59:33):
Major takeaway.
Kasim Hardaway (00:59:34)
Um, I'm trying to think of anything else.
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:59:38):
And that's okay if they're not. I was just curious, because a lot of people don't have the resources - uh-huh.
Or don't have the bandwidth or don't have whatever. Mm-hmm. And so I think just things you could just
do on your own at home. Yeah. But I think you covered some good ones. Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (00:59:49):
I love, um, gratitude walks, I call them. Mm-hmm. Um, I did not create this, but I go on a walk and I do
not take my phone. If you can do that, don't do it. Um, so
Mindy Hargesheimer (00:59:59):
There's - We all do it. We just cheat about
Kasim Hardaway (01:00:01):
It. No distractions, but I just look around and think about all the things I'm grateful for that I see, like the
trees and how the sun is hitting the leaves or like the sun on my skin and the warmth or the temperature.
Mm-hmm. And I think, again, just remembering the little things, like start there. And I know gratitude
kind of like visualization or practices feels like BS at first. You're kind of like, okay, yeah, of course I'm
grateful for it. But the more consistent you are with any kind of mental health practices - uh huh. The
better and more significant of an impact - Yeah. That you get out of it.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:00:37):
I had that conversation on another episode because I was saying like, I've tried to wake up every morning
and be grateful or say what I'm grateful for or, you know, reaching out to someone to be like,
"Hey,
haven't talked to you in awhile. I'll check in on you.
" And I agree. I don't know why it feels like BS at
first, but because it really does do powerful things - uh-huh. For you and of course the other person that
might be receiving the benefit - uh-huh. Of maybe hearing from you and it gets you distracted from what
might be eating away at you - Yeah. That you can move on to something other than yourself. Mm-hmm.You know, so I think that that is important. And like we talked about journaling, writing things down too,
I think can really get things out as well. Mm-hmm. Um, I wanted to go back, uh, real quickly to when you
had that moment of,
"I cannot do this anymore.
" There were a couple things that kinda stood out to me
that I was reading in your, what you had put together online.
(01:01:24):
Um, and one of them was... Actually the first one that I had was over here, if I could find it. Um, who am
I when the performance ends? Mm-hmm. Talk about that. What do you think about when you hear that
now and like d - you felt like you were performing, having to perform for an audience for the likes, for all
the, all the metrics or something, right?
Kasim Hardaway (01:01:48):
Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:01:49):
I - Or client expectations too. Yeah. Which is kind of business, but - It,
Kasim Hardaway (01:01:52):
It's just, we live in such weird times like
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:01:54):
Thinking about it -
Kasim Hardaway (01:01:55):
Yeah. Because I don't think about this often and how I felt at that time,
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:01:58):
But -
'Cause it's behind
Kasim Hardaway (01:01:59):
You. Yeah, just those parasocial re - I mean, not reactions, but parasocial interactions you have with
people where they DM you and maybe you've had a busy day. Like I've had people like triple message
me, like,
"Hey, can you let me know about this recipe?" And it's like,
"Man, I get it. But like also I'm a
person.
" Uh-huh. Yeah. I'm not just this thing you see on your phone. I actually have a whole life.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:02:22):
Right.
Kasim Hardaway (01:02:22):
Um, but wanting to make sure that I was showing up for my audience in a way that made me feel good
about myself because when they complimented me, I felt great about myself.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:02:31):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:02:32):And I think for me, that performance was also happening outside of the social media influencer, you
know, personality. Mm-hmm. I feel like I was overcurating myself even with my closest friends. Mm.
And maybe that was in reaction to me knowing how broken I was starting to feel inside and just like
covering it up.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:02:54):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:02:54):
But that performance almost felt nonstop for me.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:02:57):
Yeah. And then you said, uh, this is, I guess when you kinda had moved on, it was the first time I stopped
creating to capture attention and started creating to offer presence, reflection and, and connection.
Kasim Hardaway (01:03:08):
Mm-hmm
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:03:08):
When was that from? When did that, when did you start to feel that, if you recall?
Kasim Hardaway (01:03:13):
I think -
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:03:14):
To free yourself up from trying to capture - The
Kasim Hardaway (01:03:16):
Unbecoming. Yeah. Yeah. The unbecoming. Just because again, I, I was so happy because I was creating
something and I was having fun and doing all the things I love, but I also wasn't listening to any trends. I
wasn't like -
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:03:30):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:03:30):
Trying to make it like how this person did it. It was just very much like, how do I wanna do this? And it
sounds a lot easier than it was. There were a lot of difficulties and I would get really frustrated because
this was my first time making anything.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:03:42):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:03:42):
And I've always held myself to a high standard. I think at that point I still was dealing with perfectionist
tendencies. I was like,
"I need it to be perfect.
" Yeah. And so try and do it and do it over again. But justthat project was just really good for me.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:03:57):
Back, back to that catharsis.
Kasim Hardaway (01:03:58):
Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:03:59):
Okay. So for people who are in this increasing world of content creators -
Kasim Hardaway (01:04:04):
Uh-huh.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:04:05):
I think I heard a joke the other day that like everyone's gonna have a podcast in like four years or
whatever. So right there with you. But for people who are currently in the content creation world
or are wanting to get into it because obviously we're just headed in that direction eternally, what's your
advice at this point? What would you say to them based on the OG days, based on where you got to,
where we are today in the world, currently 2026? Mm-hmm. Like how would you, if somebody came to
you and said,
"Really wanna get into this and I wanna make a living, you've got a lot of experience.
"
What would you advise them to do at this point? Don't
Kasim Hardaway (01:04:40):
Do it. No, I'm kidding.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:04:41):
Right. That could be your advice.
Kasim Hardaway (01:04:44):
Yeah. I, I, I mean, I definitely think it will reach a point of oversaturation. I think it will. It has to. Yeah. I
think it will. Yeah. I think it'll be a point where everyone's doing it and there's no more novelty to it.
Right. But I think what I would advise people to do is to be yourself. I think that is kind of the magic of
any brand, any persona or icon. It's like people are attracted to that special, unique part of you that only
you can bring to the table.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:05:13):
Well, it is really interesting in a world where everyone's starting to like morph into looking exactly alike,
if you know what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I find it fascinating that we are, yes, we all think there's this
beautiful person, talented person, um, in all these different fields, but it's like you can't ever become that
person. Mm-hmm. Why are we trying so hard to look like that person or be that person when they got to
where they were because of exactly who they were? Mm-hmm. It's so ironic. Mm-hmm. You know what
I mean? Mm-hmm. So, but people get scared off by maybe just self-worth. Yeah. Self-value of like -
Yeah. I'm not enough, so I'll just do what she's doing or he's doing and replicating it. So yeah. However
you can find the confidence to be you.Kasim Hardaway (01:05:53):
Yes. Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:05:54):
Start there. Believe that that can, yeah. Mm-hmm. Can be good. So, okay, good. Um, what else have we
not talked about with you and what you want to accomplish? Like do you have any dream collaborations
in the world of, um, directing, acting -
Kasim Hardaway (01:06:10):
Oh, wow.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:06:10):
Or in the mental health space with the Take Wat You Need?
Kasim Hardaway (01:06:13):
Um, the goal with Take What You Need is to get it to as many communities as possible. I know that's
very vague
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:06:19):
Around the world?
Kasim Hardaway (01:06:20):
Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:06:20):
Around
Kasim Hardaway (01:06:21):
The world.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:06:21):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:06:21):
So I posted on TikTok and one of the videos did really well and I've had a lot of interest - uh-huh. From
people internationally. And I think what I'm working with now is just like logistically, how do I make it
work and how do I make it accessible? So that feels really exciting. Yeah. I think I wanna do a college
tour with Take Wh You Need. Mm. To me, that age group needs this. Yeah. And they also receive it very
well. For us, you know, we grew up in the age of letters - Yeah. And like paper. Mm-hmm. And so this
isn't new to us, but - Yeah. I've seen people in that like 18 to 23, 24 just be like,
"This is so cool. Like it's
like an envelope and a letter.
" And I'm
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:07:03):
Like - That is so funny. Now what's really funny is the kids say like,
"Oh, you were born last century in
the last century.
" Yeah. I'm like,
"Oh, well that's real weird.
" Technically. Yeah. Which by the way, Idon't even know how old you are - uh-huh. But I swear you look eternally 26.
Kasim Hardaway (01:07:16):
Oh, wow. I, I love that.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:07:17):
Mm-hmm. You do. I love that.
Kasim Hardaway (01:07:19):
I will be 36 next year, so.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:07:20):
Yeah. Yeah. But that is really funny back to the letters and the postcards. Yeah. I still laugh when I like
go somewhere and there's a, the little spinning thing with postcards. I'm like -
Kasim Hardaway (01:07:28):
Uh-huh
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:07:28):
Okay, is that gonna die off like, like a Hallmark card and precious moments are gonna die off or what?
So.
Kasim Hardaway (01:07:33):
Yeah. I wanna bring it to college campuses. I, and again, I wanna keep it in public spaces, but when I
think of something like the Healing Force, I see that in a museum or I see that in like a cultural space.
Um, in terms of directing, I definitely wanna direct my first feature film in the next year.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:07:54):
Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (01:07:54):
That is on my list of goals. Um, I love people like David Fincher, Mike Flanagan. Um, I have, I am very
into just like writing things down. I have a bucket list. Um - What a concept. I love that. I love that. Yeah.
And I've hit a couple of things. I wrote my first feature film script, which was on there. Yeah. And
episodic. I wrote a pilot. Um -
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:18):
If you write it down, chances are you might accomplish it more.
Kasim Hardaway (01:08:21):
No, I
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:22):
Believe, I genuinely believeKasim Hardaway (01:08:24):
That.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:24):
Is it factual? I don't know.
Kasim Hardaway (01:08:25):
Writing
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:26):
It down. I wanna believe it is. Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:08:27):
I, I believe it is. Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:28):
Writing
Kasim Hardaway (01:08:28):
It down, but also doing like the, the visualization. Right.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:31):
Seeing
Kasim Hardaway (01:08:32):
Yourself already there -
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:33):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:08:33):
And what it would feel like and what you would think when that thing happens.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:36):
The power of the mind. Um,
Kasim Hardaway (01:08:37):
Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:38):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:08:38):
Yeah. Okay.Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:39):
Incredibly
Kasim Hardaway (01:08:39):
Powerful.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:40):
Well, speaking of that, what is on your Kansas City bucket list that you have not done that you wanna do?
Kasim Hardaway (01:08:44):
Ooh. I really, I like kayaking. Okay. I'm like a water baby. That's the only thing that I'm like,
Kansas City could have more water, I would be so happy.
"
"Oh, if
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:08:56):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:08:57):
I need to kayak here.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:09:00):
Okay.
Kasim Hardaway (01:09:00):
Somehow,
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:09:01):
You know? Like Shawnee Mission Park or otherwise?
Kasim Hardaway (01:09:03):
Sure. I haven't done it yet. Okay. Yeah. I have a friend who's like,
asked me is when I was an influencer. Yeah. And I'd be like,
But yes, I need to kayak in Kansas City.
"Let's go.
" And this, the last time she
"I can't. My whole life is influencing.
" Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:09:14):
Okay. Noted. Uh, what's a perfect day in Kansas City life for you when you are not working?
Kasim Hardaway (01:09:20):
Okay.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:09:21):
And you are not in your 50 minute, um -
around KC?
.. Head space. And what do you wanna do? What would you do
Kasim Hardaway (01:09:28):I will start with some local coffee. Mm-hmm. Um, I'm like weirdly sometimes pro-caffeine and
sometimes not pro-caffeine. Okay. I don't know what it is about my body, but sometimes I'm like,
too much caffeine.
" Yeah. But I love Cafe Cafe.
"Oh,
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:09:42):
Love it.
Kasim Hardaway (01:09:42):
Um, I went to this newer one that I really love that I cannot remember the name of. I also love - You
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:09:50):
Can send it to me
Kasim Hardaway (01:09:50):
Later. Okay. I also love the place on the plaza, um, that makes, um, why am I forgetting? It's milk teas.
Are you familiar with the
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:10:00):
Name of this place? Um, is it, is it across from the Classic Cup, like to the East? Yes. I know exactly what
you're talking about. Yes. Uh, yeah. It, it's on the tip of my tongue. Okay. Yes. Okay. I'll find the name of
it.
Kasim Hardaway (01:10:11):
So I would say - Yeah, that's a good one. It would start with that. Okay. Um, then go... I like making my
own breakfast. Okay. I don't eat a lot of breakfast out, but do some, like, scrambled eggs, beef, bacon,
toast, maybe some, like, roasted sweet potatoes. Mm-hmm. Um, I would definitely have dinner at Fox
and Pearl - Mm. Town & Co. Or Novel.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:10:36):
Awesome.
Kasim Hardaway (01:10:37):
Um, Novel recently opened a new restaurant in Crossroads. Do you know the name of it?
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:10:43):
No. Are you talking about where Corvino used to be or a different
Kasim Hardaway (01:10:47):
One? No. Um -
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:10:48):
No, because that's my roots.
Kasim Hardaway (01:10:49):
No, I had -Mindy Hargesheimer (01:10:50):
No.
Kasim Hardaway (01:10:50):
So I... Now that I'm a retired influencer, I don't go out to eat as often.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:10:56):
I was just gonna ask, are you still - But - Are you cooking at home a lot? I
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:00):
Am, and it's so much fun cooking for myself. Now it's more fun because it's not work. Yeah. Yeah. I
really, really enjoy cooking. Okay. And just, again, following my intuition or, like, creative pull where
I'm like,
"Oh, I wanna make this type of thing today.
" Yeah. And I just make it. But there's a really good
restaurant that I believe was shortlisted for a James Beard Award that is incredible.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:11:20):
Um - Anjin?
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:21):
Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:11:22):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:22):
Thank you.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:11:23):
Have you been - By the owners of the antler
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:24):
Room. Yes.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:11:25):
Antler room. Yes. Incredible. Yes. A couple girlfriends and I went and it's, I love the way that you just sit
around the bar. Mm-hmm.
'Cause that's my favorite thing to do anyway when you go to a restaurant is
just go straight to the bar. Mm-hmm. And of course the food was dynamite.
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:35):
Yeah. Yeah.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:11:35):
I was
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:35):Like,
"Wow, I have died and went to heaven.
"
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:11:38):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:38):
And I can't wait to die and go to heaven again.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:11:40):
Amazing. Do you think you'd ever open a restaurant someday?
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:42):
No.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:11:43):
Noted. Okay
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:44):
Do you... I had... I was a partner in a restaurant, Cultivar.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:11:47):
Oh yeah. At 135th.
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:49):
Yes. I
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:11:50):
I went there back in the day. What happened?
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:52):
Um, I think the timing of it was not great. Yeah. We
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:11:56):
Opened during
Kasim Hardaway (01:11:56):
COVID. Yeah. Um, but being that close to restaurant execution and, like, s - you know, sustaining that
type of operation is just, like, a no for me.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:12:09):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:12:09):
No.Mindy Hargesheimer (01:12:10):
I, I mean, I don't... I would... I've never had the interest in it, so I can only imagine how much work that
would be. Yeah. So.
Kasim Hardaway (01:12:14):
I think the idea of it -
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:12:15):
Yeah. And,
Kasim Hardaway (01:12:15):
Like, thinking about, like, menus or, like -
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:12:18):
Yeah.
Kasim Hardaway (01:12:18):
The interior design, that's fun. But in terms of running it day-to-day, I'm like,
"No.
" Love it.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:12:23):
Love it. Not for me. Okay. Well, if you do like cooking, um, I would just say have a dinner party and host
me. I'd love to come over and enjoy all your cooking. I can do that.
(01:12:30):
Awesome. Well, thanks for coming on. It's so good to chat with you. We need to get together more often.
Yeah. I'm so, um, I would say proud, but I sound like your mom saying that. Um, but I'm wildly
impressed with what you've done. Thank you, Mindy. And truly, your story is so cool. And what... And I
know that sounds a little silly, but it really is, like, how much you've evolved into all these different areas.
And I like to play the game of how you look back in life and connect the dots - uh-huh. To how you got to
be where you are. Mm-hmm. And it just starts to make sense. Mm-hmm. Um, but, you know, the whole
idea is for people to figure out how they can, like, find inspiration in what you're doing and connect with
you and get involved in everything.
(01:13:02):
So thanks for coming on.
Kasim Hardaway (01:13:03):
Thank you for having me, Mindy. I really, really enjoyed it.
Mindy Hargesheimer (01:13:06):
Good. Cheers.
Kasim Hardaway (01:13:07):
Yay.Mindy Hargesheimer (01:13:09):
Thank you so much for tuning in and finding inspiration in these incredible stories. If you love what you
hear, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Leave a rating and share the show to help these
Kansas City voices reach even more listeners.